We are so used to doing tasks at work that very often success is understood as having all the tasks done. How often, as a leader do you reflect on the results of these tasks? I will start on OKRs (Objective and Key Results - goal setting methodology) but it's not about it. I want to use it as an example. In fact this is a text about how we rest during vacation.
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Conflict is often similar to a situation in which you lose control of your car. Your movements become chaotic, you jerk the steering wheel to get the car back on track, you press the gas or brake pedal (not necessarily the right one), you panic. And that only makes the situation worse. So let's get back to taking control.
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Until recently, I was convinced that cooperation is the best way to resolve conflicts. Always. Without exception. This belief has accompanied me for years, reinforced by books, trainings and work methodologies or frameworks. Especially in a work environment based on Agile, where cooperation is a paramount value and is inflected in all cases. No wonder - after all, cooperation gives the best results.
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As a leader, it is easy to fall into the trap of immediately providing solutions. We are used to the idea that we are supposed to “know the way” and show the direction. But true leadership often begins not with talking – but with listening. And the best way to listen and understand is to ask questions.
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An assertive leader is not only able to say "no", but also is aware of their own values, is open to constructive criticism and cares about authentic communication. A leader who can be assertive manages the team more effectively and also inspires them to better cooperation and independence.
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I have discovered that often, despite our best efforts, we lack this balance, we don't feel it. I have also discovered that mindful transitions are very helpful in bringing it back. Mindful transition is a conscious start to work and returning home.
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In many companies, conflict is often treated as something that should be avoided at all costs. Leaders, managers, and employees alike shy away from addressing difficult issues head-on, sometimes even going as far as to deny that a conflict exists. But why is this the case, and what impact does this avoidance have on the organization and its people?
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I once worked with a team where one of the programmers was extremely precise. He cared a lot about what he called "technical excellence". He believed that the code should be written in a way that would not cause any problems or raise any doubts in the future. You may say - "But that's how it should be". Hmmm... As with everything - it depends 🙂
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Making conflict in a team more agile-way might remind my vacation in a camper., with my family, having nearly 2000 km ahead. Find out why.
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Automatic reactions to disagreements often stem from our natural fight-or-flight response. When faced with conflict, our brains perceive it as a threat, triggering this instinctual response.
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